icecoveredheart (icecoveredheart) wrote,

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Befriending Fame?!!

Fame, something a lot of people aspire to get and many more look up to those who have it. With the help of the Internet, the hundreds and thousands of channels that need to be filled with all kinds of programs and all the other media outlets, there's a very good chance that you know someone who is famous in one are or another or you are so yourself.

The first time I crossed paths with fame was probably when I was 3 years old in kindergarten as I saw this actor who had a hit tv show back then in which he had played the role of a mafia leader of some sort. At 3 years of age and seeing the scary guy from TV, I guess it was kinda expected that I would scream. My scream was loud enough to catch his attention and everyone else's at the parking lot. My older sister was probably a bit embarrassed and she tried to calm me down and explain to me that it wasn't real. He was just there to pick up his kid from school.

Since then, I saw him a lot more as well as a lot of other famous actors, TV hosts, politicians, etc. My family is a simple ordinary family. My dad ran his own small business while my mom stayed home. Just like any parents, they tried to get me and my siblings into the best schools and that had a great impact on my life and my personality for sure and it also let me meet all those famous people since they chose the best schools for their kids too. I used to think that it was so "cool" and it was even cooler when at the age of 16, I went "international", so to say, as a famous European band posted a blog about me on their Myspace after I had sent them a message, especially that I hadn't been expecting it at all. It was the first time that I ever try to initiate anything with someone famous without any reason. A couple of months after that, I traveled and met with more famous people in other areas. During that trip, a lot has happened to me that had its effect on me personality-wise.

After I got back home oneday and as I was flipping the channels when a music video caught my attention for some reason so I stopped to watch it. I should probably mention that I hate watching music videos on TV unless I already knew the song or at least the singer or the band, so I never do usually. I didn't know the band, but something got me interested enough to look them up and in a few days I managed to get their personal email and IM accounts which surprised them a lot, but not as much as the amount of information I had about them did. I didn't think I'd be IMing them more than a couple of times really, but to my surprise, we kept on talking for hours every day or two, especially with the one that I didn't like at first and didn't even wanna talk to because he struck me as arrogant and a jerk when I'd first looked them up. However, since the very first day I talked to him, and though I was kinda rude to him, he proved to be one of the nicest people I've ever dealt with and he kept on proving it more and more each day. I started trusting him and another one of his band mates like I'd never trusted anyone before. It probably helped at first that we weren't talking face to face and it was just over the Internet because even after we got each other's numbers, we didn't call unless something was urgent, especially that it was an expensive international call. He became like an older brother I can trust and lean on and I started calling him big bro and he started calling me sis. It was fun hearing one of my classmates tell me she had a crush on one of the band members or another telling me a rumor that I knew was not true and then laughing about it with the guys later. I used to tell him that I didn't think we'd ever meet but he was sure that we would and he was right. Someday, out of the blue, I got a chance to go to the country where the band was out of all the countries in the world. Long story short; I got there eventually and the first thing I did was go pay him a surprise visit. I called him from down the street and as surprised he was, he told me he was coming to get me because I wasn't sure which was his place exactly. I was nervous of course because I was finally meeting the guy I considered my non-biological brother and trusted more than my real brothers. His band mate was staying with him temporarily and he had no idea that I was coming, so he decied to leave it a surprise and not tell him that he was going out to get me and let me shock him to death when we got back.

They were getting ready to go to some album launching event, but since I got there, they made a couple of calls, changed their clothes and decided to take me out to dinner and a movie after instead. Since then they grew even bigger in my eyes and they and their family and friends embraced me like I was one of them. They looked out for me and were there for me even when they went out of the country for a concert or something. But even when I was far away from them, I had learned that it wasn't so cool anymore to know famous people and as I suddenly appeared on the scene as a person who seemed so close to them that their own vocals coach thought I was actually the guy's sister and they mentioned me in an interview, I started wishing that they weren't famous at all. Yeah, I got to go to cool parties and meet a lot of people and got my photos published among the celebrity photos in magazines, but I learned that this little fun that I'd get from their being famous wasn't worth the costs. I still think that they are the most amazing people I've ever come across that I'd nominate them for the Nobel Prize in Peace, but I realize now that these people's lives are complicated that a friendship with them can be very complicated as anything can be interpreted differently, for example, and a simple friends prank would look like a bad publicity, not to mention the weird stalkers that I got and the peopel that snoop on my Facebook profile or try to get to know me to get to the band or know stuff about them.

Six months ago on one of the worst days of my life so far, I made a huge mistake towards him and hurt him like I never wished to do. It was a big mistake on its own, but his fame was among the factors that made it worse. I can never forget the disappointed and hurt look in his eyes that day just like I can still hear the shock in his voice when he implicitly mentioned what had happened in a radio interview a couple of days later. No one could know what he really meant, but I knew. He asked me to give him time to get over it and forget, especially that he's swamped with a lot right now which makes me wish even more that they weren't famous. We used to talk everyday whether over the phone or on the Internet and he would check up on me in case I needed anything and apologize for not being able to see me much though we used to see each other every few days or couple of weeks or so. I haven't seen him since that day 6 months ago though we talked over the phone several times because he's still the one person that wouldn't let me down when I need the slightest thing even if he was still upset with me or at least couldn't trust me like before. I've seen his band mate who'd been out of the country for months and got back for a few days. He called me up to meet just a few hours before his flight to talk about what happened and he promised me that things will be back to normal eventually.

July 13th is his birthday. I texted him at midnight to wish him a happy birthday. Before things went south, I was planning on something major for his birthday to show him my gratitude for everything he'd done for me, but no point of that anymore when I can't see him. He replied thanking me in a text and wishing me the best, but I couldn't wash away the feeling that something was wrong all day long like I wasn't where I'm supposed to be, I should have been with him celebrating this day and with all the other friends. I wanted to call him or his band mate or his sister, but I know things have changed now and I should give him his time and space even though I miss them so much and need them now more than ever. I've lost the only people that I ever trusted. I just know that I hate this uneasy feeling I had all day that made me wish for the day to be over quickly and I tried to just sleep through it. I wish they weren't famous because a lot of things would've been easier, but then again, I wouldn't have known them if they weren't and I wouldn't trade my memories with them for the world. But I think I'm done with famous people, I don't wanna know anymore of them. Fame isn't worth it.

Tags: actors, band, birthday, brother, cool, depression, fame, famous, friendship, fun, hapiness, hurt, memories, mistake, music, sadness, school, shock, trust

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